horrible things to say to three-year-olds

I'll bite your eyes off.
You made Santa cry.
You made Santa vomit all that blood.
Mommy's getting the hammer.
Balogna is made from puppies.
Big boys and girls scrub floors.
Pet the furry little bees.
Starving children in Africa would love to eat you.
Dirtying the potty is a sin.
Strangers have free candy in their Econolines.
Daddy needs cigarettes. Hold down the fort.
Don't worry, you'll be safer sleeping in the drawer.
This will hurt you more than it'll hurt me.